1. Argue Like a Badger
Badgers are very unforgiving creatures with one rule to live by. It’s either their way or the highway, and if you have any argument with that, they will persuade you otherwise through unpleasant consequences, otherwise known as scratching and clawing until you agree they’re right. Humans have a very similar techniques to change each others behavior, consisting of using the phrase “you”, instead of “I”, as in “you are to blame for this”, and “you’re the reason everything is wrong with my life.”

Other popular strategies, and sure ways to guarantee a miserable relationship, are to refuse to listen, resist asking questions when you don’t understand, attack with sarcasm and verbal abuse, and end every argument on a negative note. Your goal is to win every argument, and never consider or compromise any reasonable requests offered by your spouse. Winning every argument leaves behind a sticky residue on a relationship, almost guaranteeing hard feelings and misery the next time a conflict arises.

2. Guide Your Partner via Negative Reinforcement
Many counselors claim that positive reinforcement is the best way to lead a partner by example, but those looking for a miserable existence, will prefer guiding their relationships via negative reinforcement. Where positive reinforcement teaches spouses the advantage and benefits of certain behaviors, negative reinforcement teaches fear, guilt, and anxiety by nagging until they can’t stand to hear your voice anymore.

What this achieves is a very temporary change in behavior, focused on merely achieving momentary peace and quiet. In time, this antagonistic behavioral learning technique creates a wedge between couples. Instead of embracing positive change for the better, as positive learning is known to achieve, a spouse will become only motivated by the reward of avoiding their partner altogether.

3. Pursue Happiness as if it were On Sale at Wal*mart
While some fools might tell you happiness comes from our own purpose and happy thoughts, miserable couples understand that happiness can be bought just as easily as respect, admiration, and faith. Research suggests that true happiness would never be as sweet without the occasional sadness, but miserable couples know true happiness comes from achieving a perfect life, complete with the perfect wife and ‘mostly’ perfect husband.

While we may only be able to control up to 42 percent of our happiness by choosing to focus on the good things, we can guarantee 100 percent misery by choosing to concentrate on the bad. There are at least three levels of joy, all of which require money, including food, sex, and fancy cars. Through our envy of other peoples stuff, we can finally forget about such needless blessings as love, health, family, and friends. We will be devoured by your own selfish thoughts, forgetting that failure is not a learning experience, but rather an invitation to disappointment.

4. Let Go of Your Curiosities
Miserable couples know that curiosity killed the cat, so they choose to be unenthusiastic about their own life, the life of their partner, and the world around them. Whatever they knew about themselves or their partner, probably still stands true today, so they allow themselves to become bored and disinterested. Despite what you may have heard, what makes a happy relationship thrive is not passion, love, creative intimacy, surprise, or the belief that our partner is truly interested in us.

Some psychologists say you can secure the likelihood of having a miserable marriage, simply by creating a lack of curiosity in your relationship. To accomplish this, avoid talking with your partner about your goals, dreams, and aspirations. Become a poor teammate in everything from work to social activities. Your goal should be to resist cooperation and compromise, choosing instead to seek a negative, prejudice, and judgmental viewpoint. Your favorite comment to all who ask inquisitive questions is, I don’t know!

5. Seek Excitement, Anxiety, and Jealousy in All Your Relationships
People are drawn to excitement in life. It is one of the fundamental reasons for finding and maintaining new relationships whenever you start to become too comfortable in your existing ones. Boredom is the enemy of relationships for miserable couples, because they understand that behind all the dull, tedious repetition, lies comfort, predictability, stability, support, and faithfulness.

Studies show, biologically, as time goes on, the opium-like injections of oxytocin in the brain subside; the butterflies that used to flutter, now seek shelter in a dormant cocoon; and the sexual attraction we used to feel, is now challenged by a simple piece of chocolate. Multiple marriages and affairs can satisfy this urge for excitement, guaranteeing a life of endless anxiety, obsessiveness, risky sex, and jealousy. Boring couples who live the daily grind of a “mature” relationship, only have honesty, security, trust, and intimacy to look forward to.

What is Misery?
There’s been several schmuck’s as of recent years, running around telling people that we don’t have to live with a miserable relationship. They say that we can make them what we want, just as long as we take the time to understand each other, and work together towards our goals. One thing we do know, is each of us has the capacity to make almost any situation miserable. What is misery? It’s only a word.

Happy relationships come about, not by how they are dealt, but how we choose to decipher their challenge and turmoil. Through mistakes comes knowledge; from misunderstandings breeds perception. Take everything that has been said in this article today as a reminder that we have more control over our relationships than most of us realize.

1. Lust: Thou Shall Not Rush Into Sex
Sex is a fundamental desire in an intimate relationship, but rushing into sex too soon can undermine true intimacy, replacing it with lust. A worthy man does not need to have sex within the first few dates. He may be thinking about it, and if you allow him certain advantages, he may certainly take initiative, but in truth, he is probably more enthralled with the chase than the reward. If you give away all your treasure and mystery before he’s had to work for it, he could quickly lose interest, pursuing his interests elsewhere. As in most things in life, the more you have to work for something, the more you will appreciate it once it’s yours.

2. Pride: Thou Shall Not Change the Man/Woman
Pride has many faults, such as desiring perfection in ourselves and our mate. But one of the worst things you can do in this pursuit, is to assume that you can change a man into everything you ever wanted. Men, are fundamentally who they are. They may want to change, they may tell you they can change, but in general you should assume what you see, is what get. The only caveat, is to know when you’re being overly picky. While it may be annoying that he snorts when laughing at old reruns of Seinfeld, and can’t give a decent massage to save his life, is that just cause for throwing away a potentially, very satisfying relationship?

3. Greed: Thou Shall Not Expect Too Much Early On
One of the worst parts of dating is all the waiting. Does he like me? Are we dating, or just hanging out? Does he want children? Which way does he put the toilet paper on the roll? While all these questions maybe important down the road, they are certainly not important enough to be answered within the first few dates. A budding relationship should allow itself to unfold in due time, without forcing things. Take everything in stride, and focus on enjoying yourself and the company. Don’t open your true feelings up too fast, or expect him to do the same. Most men prefer the mystery in getting to know you.

4. Gluttony: Too Much of a Good Thing is also Called, Smothering
Like the old saying, If you hold a butterfly too tightly, it will crush. Some relationships start off smothering each other with love. There are fundamentally two kinds of relationships, passionate  and romantic. The passionate relationship is defined by lust, infatuation, and the jealousy associated with being apart. These relationships are never as happy as they could be, as it is hard to enjoy love when you are constantly in a state of panic. A Romantic relationship, by comparison, is every bit as passionate, but the relationship is based more on trust and security, than an obsession. Relax and enjoy each other, don’t smother!

5. Wrath: Thou Shall Not Allow Anger/Distrust to Filter Across from Past Relationships
Expecting all men to be like your last couple ex’s is a recipe for disaster. Relationships can be a dangerous business for our heart, but true love can never be achieved without sharing yourself openly with a potential soulmate. This is the catch 22 of all relationships, as in order for them to prosper, we must start each one on a fresh slate, which means assuming each person is ‘not guilty’ of all accounts of bad relationship practice (until proven otherwise). This puts ourselves in the position of possibly one day becoming hurt, but at the same time, distrusting and snooping around without just cause, scares away those worthy suitors, just as frequently as the unworthy.

6. Envy: Be Yourself’
Just because one person is all that and a bucket of cheese puffs in one persons eyes, doesn’t mean that they will be the same caliber in another person’s. Stay clear of love interests who like to compare you with their ex’s, offering advice on how to become more of what they prefer in a mate. A relationship is not all about what you can do for them, but also what they can do for you. Never neglect your own needs, trying to meet those of someone else. If you don’t feel like one of the most beautiful and appreciated people on the entire planet each time you’re together, you’re probably never going to.

7. Sloth: Thou Shall Not Fake Orgasms
Faking an orgasm seems a lot easier than dealing with the potentially uncomfortable position of telling a man his motions in the ocean are not quite rocking your boat. Make no mistake about it, faking an orgasm early in a relationship will only cause more confusion and hurt feelings later on. What’s he to say when you tell him on the day of your tenth anniversary, that all his old moves are just not going to cut it anymore. It is more difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. You’ve got to train them early, girls!

(Originally featured on California Psychics)

Jerks are cruel, crass, and contemptible people. They have only one person’s interests at heart and in mind — their own. Despite most peoples’ desire to stay away from them, they will always be an inevitable part of dating. The danger is that jerks often start out very charming. This can leave us blindsided to their worst qualities, while starting to fall for their best. Then, once the relationship is far enough along to make it more difficult to walk away, their true nature begins to rear its ugly head.

Jerks know their best audience, and so they tend to prey upon partners with the kindest hearts. This is because these generous people are usually the most accepting and forgiving of their faults. Here are five questions to ask yourself if you suspect you might be dating a jerk: